Just finished week 1 of my 5k training and my numbers were the worst yet. I am not going to let that get me down though cause yesterday I kind of did the equivalent of doing it nearly 3 times since I walk to and from our board meeting. Plus it's week 1 I know I am not in great shape the point is I just did it. Next week I will be adding another lap though so that should be interesting. God will give me the strength though :)
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Ok I think my pedometer isn't quite accurate cause I did the same walk today as yesterday and it shows I only went .548 miles versus the .717 yesterday. Anyways the stopwatch app I use though showed I did it in 11mins & 21 secs which is a little faster then yesterday :)
After seeing a cousin post on facebook that she was training for a 5k it got me thinking about the fact I had to quit the last one I was training for. I don't feel bad I quit because the baby's safety was my priority. I really would like to get into shape and be in better health for when we do have kids. I want my kids to be active and if I can't be active what example would I be showing them. So I found a 5k that is November 10th and I have decided to train for it.
Did my 1st day of 5k training today. According to my pedometer app in 11mins 50secs I walked 1274 steps to go 0.717 miles at an average speed of 3.6mph. Since I want to do the 5k in 25mins and it's 3.1 miles I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. I can do all things through God who strengthens me! Someone text me today and asked how I was and I told them ok that I was happy to be off the antibiotics. Next thing they asked was "what about the baby?" I know she didn't mean to upset me but it just hit a nerve. When I lost Malachi last year it was hard but with Safira it just seems so much worse. They were completely different situations but with the same horrible outcome. With Malachi I had two weeks to come to terms with the fact that I could lose him. The doctors didnt expect him to last two weeks. Safira I got almost no warning. Everything was fine then poof water breaks and a day and half later I give birth. I was glad I had the doctor I had this time cause he was more hopeful than I think I was. If it would have been left up to me I would have been induced Saturday but he just couldn't do it. I believe in miracles and that God can do awesome things after all I have experienced some but I just knew in my heart I was losing my baby and didn't want to drag it out. Even Curtis was more hopeful than I which is why I didn't push for the induction even though I could have. Everyone around me had more hope than I did. I tried but I just couldn't do it. In a way I just went numb waiting to lose my baby. The doctor told me he was going to release me Monday and I actually dreaded it because the idea of having a repeat of how Malachi was born in my toilet and an ambulance having to come and but another one of my babies in a biohazard bag was horrible. While Safira did have the horrible toilet birth at least she had some of the nicest nurses to take care of her and treat her like a human being. They gave her the attention and care I should have but I just couldn't bare to see her to start with. Honestly parts of me feel bad that my son died in a toilet while my daughter got so much attention. She got cremeation and will be in an urn and i have no idea what they did with him. I have pictures and items of her and nothing of his. I know I can't change what happen and have come to terms with that but it still makes me quite sad at times.
I trust God and I know He has a plan of good for us. It has only been a week though and I am still processing everything. My smiles and laughs are real but there are still times of tears. With time the tears will come less but just like with Malachi and the first baby I still feel the loss. While I know they are in a much better place with Jesus my selfishness wishes they were with me. Saturday evening my water broke. I was only 18 weeks and 3 days pregnant so it was not a good thing at all. We immediatly went to the hospital and they did an u/s to confirm it did break. There was some fluid around our little girl and my cervix wasn't dialated. My dr decided that he would have me admitted and pray that the sac would reseal. Sunday afternoon they did another u/s and there was no change which the dr said was good cause cervix was still not dialating and the fluid wasn't any less. Sunday night though I started having contractions. Monday morning I delievered our little girl Safira Trinity. She lived for three hours but just couldn't breath cause her lungs weren't developed enough. She was a perfect little baby. I thank God so much for the nurses that took care of me and her they were so incredibly nice. I ended up getting an infection and was put on antibotics and released earlier today.
I know God has a plan for us and that one day we will have children we get to keep and raise. I could say so much more but I just don't have it in me right now. I didn't really post anything right after I went to doctor last month cause nothing that interesting happened. Everything looked fine. Doctor had a hard time getting measurements cause it was moving so much. I go back a week from today. I am hoping the gender will be revealed. I have been feeling some movement on and off the past few days which is exciting. I really felt some the other night when I got to see one of my CBC teachers in person. I said they must like him as much as I do haha.
It's kind of been a hard week for me I got some sort of cold while at an Andrew Wommack conference in Orlando last week. The sore throat went a way within a day or two Thank God. I still have a cough that starts making me gag and puke. Today so far I haven't lost any food like I did the past few days. My sinuses seem to be running a lot less too. Poor Curtis has been struggling with the sinus and cough issue for I think weeks now. Medicaid to no surprise has given me some issues this time. I get a notice with no other warning first that my coverage has ended. It didn't make sense to me since on the web it showed I wasn't even up for review till May. Well apparently I was told wrong about just having to ask them to upgrade me to pregnancy medicaid again and give proof of pregnancy. I called waited for over 30 minutes to find out I had to completely reapply for medicaid. I did but it can take up to 45 days to get approved and my doctor visit is next week. I refuse to stress though the doctor office may just have to bill later. I am 15 weeks today so I figured I would post a belly picture. I look huge! My belly is a lot rounder and shirts that used to not touch my belly do now.
I go to the doctor tomorrow. I had to go last Tuesday because I had extreme pain in my right hip area that it made me puke. It lasted for about 5 hours that day. The doctor did an ultrasound to make sure baby was fine and told me it was probably a pulled muscle or spasm. Wednesday night right before bed the pain started again. it was horrible I took the pain killer he prescribed and muscle relaxer but neither seemed to help at all. This time it last for 7 hours. I kept poor Curtis up almost the entire time cause it was hurting so bad. Won't I believe finally made the pain go away was God. I had been praying even begging for it to stop but when I finally decided just to start reading the Word of God the pain started numbing to the point that I could go to sleep finally. I haven't had any pain in that same spot since. Praise God. A few times since I have had pains in other spots and every time I start reading my bible the pain stops. I know it's been over a month since I wrote. I have meant to a few times just never did. We had our 11 week doctor visit March 2nd. The doctor was very happy that I hadn't had any more bleeding. He did an u/s(pic above) and everything looked great. He was scared when he last saw us because the baby had moved on to the cervix when I lost that clump of lining. There doesn't seem to be any issues now. The baby was sleeping and the doctor wanted to see him moving around so he kept pushing on my belly telling him to move. Finally when he did it was so adorable. Stretching, scratching its head, and even looked like he was trying to pick his nose.
I finished my first 2 classes of Bible College last week. The one test wasn't to bad cause it was multiple choice but the second one was harder cause it was almost all fill in the blank. I know I second and third guessed myself into the wrong answers a couple of times. Not to much else going on I guess. We had my nephew's 1st birthday party at my house Saturday. I think it went pretty well. He seemed to have fun so that's what matters. My parents got a brand new Kia Forte yesterday. It's their first new car ever. I probably had more to say but I just can't think of it at the moment. Friday I went to the OB and we saw the baby and got to hear the little heartbeat going 160. I was measuring 7 weeks 1 day so my due date is Sept 20th, which is 7 days before my birthday. Also we got awesome news that the protein s test came back normal so I don't have to get shots taken Late Saturday night I went to the bathroom there was bright red blood followed by a clot the size of my palm. After the clot passed the bleeding slowed down greatly. Curtis called the hospital they said if it didn't seem life threatening it would be best to wait to see our OB. We decided that after an hour or so the bleeding seemed to mostly stop we would wait for Monday. It did. We called the dr's office when they opened and told us just to come in they would fit us in somehow. We get there and the waiting room is packed and I of course think well we will be waiting a long time. That wasn't the case at all they actually took us back next. I am sure all the people there might have gotten aggrivated but I am sure if they knew the circumstances and it was them instead they would like the same treatment. He did the u/s and the baby was still in there when I saw the heart beating I was so relieved. Because of the clot coming out though instead of the baby being high in the uterius it's almost right against the cervix. The dr also spotted a subchroninic bleed. He gave us a 50/50 chance of keeping the baby. I did more research when I got home and most of the time the clot with remedy itself by 20 weeks. There is a 1-3% chance the clot could tear the placenta from the uterus wall and cause miscarrage. It was ressuring to see online several ladies experenced the same thing I did and went on to have perfectly healthy babies. I am trusting God for the best. My glass is half full! And my God can work miracles. By the way I am now on very light activity so I can't do the 5k. Just finished 25 laps around the house which is half the 5k in 23 minutes. Not to bad for not doing exercise outside for a bit. Next week I will try to do all 50 laps because the deadline for signup for the blue/grey 5k is Feb 5th and the event is Feb 18th
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StephanieWelcome to my site and my life. I post updates on things I am doing or adding to my site, about what's going on in my life good or bad, & things that I believe the Holy Spirit prompts me to. I live to glorify God in all I do, to share His everlasting, unfailing love, and the nearly unbelievable good news of Jesus Christ. Topics
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November 2022
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